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Submitted on
June 9, 2012
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Maybe if I stare a little longer,
Maybe if I wish a little harder,
Maybe if I cry a little less,
Maybe if I smile a little more.

Maybe if I notice every detail of your pictures, one bye one. Maybe if I keep them all in my pocket, my wallet, my phone and my heart. Maybe then, I wont feel so far apart. Maybe if I look at those pictures every day, every time I want to cry, every time I want to just give in and die. Maybe then there will be a little less asking "why??".

Maybe if I replay that accidental voice message you left, over and over.
Maybe if I go through the messages I saved.
Maybe if I pull forward every memory I kept safe in my mind.

Maybe if I put on all my make up, dress all pretty, and act my sweetest. Maybe if I smile a lot, and use my soft voice. Maybe then your family wouldn't hate me so. Maybe if I dance around all sweet and swift, and never show the heaviness in my feet. Maybe if I don't stay up late, do all my homework, pull straight A's. Maybe then they will see me as worth your time.

Maybe if I breathe a little longer,
Maybe if I focus a little harder,
Maybe if I worry a little less,
Maybe if I think a little more.

Maybe if I squeeze my eyes super tight, and dream the brightest dream every night, maybe if I wish with all my might. Maybe then we can make it through this long hard night. Maybe if I cuddle super close to this teddy bear named after you, maybe then I would know what to do.

Maybe if I stand up straight and walk with grace, the people wont see the worry on my face. Maybe if I just call, maybe, just maybe, I could stop this fall. Maybe if I talk to you when you aren't here, maybe then you will feel near. Maybe if I lie awake, maybe if i slow my breath intake, maybe my own name wont feel so fake. Maybe if I stare at the sky, maybe I could numb the time going by. Maybe if I sit at the beach in the sand, I can figure out what it feels like to hold your hand. Maybe if I imagine you here, that is where you will want to be.

Maybe if I hold on a little longer,
Maybe if I try a little harder,
Maybe if I speak a little less,
Maybe if I sit here a little more.

Maybe if I write my thoughts, maybe if I record my dreams, maybe then the distance wont be as bad as it seems. Maybe if I speak your name a little more, maybe if I say it when I'm sad, maybe the hurt wont feel so bad.

Maybe if I wait for the sun, and tell myself the good times just barely begun. Maybe if I remember all the good, forget all the bad, and live for the best moments we've ever had. Maybe if I pick myself up, and tell myself we'll be OK, then maybe I will see that day.

Maybe if I stare a little longer,
Maybe if I wish a little harder,
Maybe if I cry a little less,
Maybe if I smile a little more.

Then Maybe, just maybe, I'll hold you in my arms.
MAYBE. Typed that word a TON. Anyways.. bleh
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